On Sunday, March 11, some blonde-haired, middle-aged, black jacket wearing dipshit stole Carrie’s bicycle. The bike was parked near the Trader Joe’s at Almaden and Blossom Hill in San Jose. The thief cut her bike lock and rode away.

If you happen to live in or frequent San Jose, please keep an eye out for her beloved Dilby II.

Here is a photo of Dilby II, the day he was born. What a handsome devil.